IELTS writing essays with corrections
In many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?
Sample answer 1 : Band value : 6.5
Note: The sample answers here have been written by students who got 6.5 band score in writing. The mistakes have been marked with blue color and corrections have been given at the end of the essay. .
It is undeniable that popularity of internet and TV is touching sky. It is considered as one of the best source of entertainment and relaxation. When it comes to novels and TV shows ‘Crime’ is one of the popular topic. I believe primary reason of this trend is human mentality and reality of this shows. In my opinion, it is a positive trend which demonstrate the truth and consequences of criminality.
To begin with reasons behind this craze, according to me primary reason of this fashion is our brain. We all have little insecurities for ourselves and our families. Research of Algoma University Timmins show that majority watchers of a Netflix reality crime series said that they watch it only because they want to know different ways used by criminals to commit crimes and what are the ways to prevent it. Secondary reason I would mention here is we all love thrill and Adventure. It is very obvious that crime shows and novels are very thrilling and most of them have suspense till end.
Furthermore, as an optimistic person I believe that it a productive vogue. It is very apparent that most of us do not watch these shows in order to learn crimes but we watch it as a precaution. These kind of shows even have positive influence on people who want to commit crimes, for an instance if someone is watching crime show or reading criminal novel, they will also know the end. Because most of these novel and shows also mention the painful consequences of crime.
In conclusion, I would say human mentality is responsible for these trends and it plays absolute positive role in our society in both ways, whether precaution and prevention for the good ones or whether punishments for the bad ones.
It is undeniable: It would have been better if ‘fact ‘had been written after undeniable.
It is an undeniable fact that.
In my opinion: in the previous line the candidate has written ‘I believe’ which explain his opinion. If he writes in my opinion again it shows redundancy.
It is a positive trend which demonstrate : Here ‘trend’ is a singular word. So instead of writing ‘demonstrate’. The candidate should write ‘demonstrates’
To begin with reasons: there should always be ‘coma’ after any conjunction or linking word :
To begin with, reasons behind this craze
Research of Algoma University Timmins show : the candidate should have written ‘shows’
Research of Algoma University Timmins shows
It is very apparent: The word ‘very’ is not required here.
It is apparent
Crime show or reading criminal novel: in IELTS writing most of the nouns we use are plural unless we want to write a specific singular word. :
Here, crime shows or criminal novels
IELTS writing essay sample answer 2 : Band value : 6.5
In recent time, the shows or novels related to crime and mystery are gaining more popularity all over the world. Ample of reasons are behind for extreme popularity. In this essay, we will discuss the factors why this shows become popular.
First and foremost, people can feel thrill while watching a crime based entertainment show, because mind and imagination both are engaged at that time. Crime shows are like solving puzzle that also give excitement. Moreover, it increases the curiosity level, whenever you watching that episode and delighted for next episode. These curiosities would catch them towards the crime dramas and novels.
Secondly, audience can receive endless information such as advanced technology in communication and tools of laboratory. Almost every crime fictions are used advanced techniques for solving the case. In India the CID was very popular TV crime dramas, they often used laboratory experiments for matching the victim’s data. In addition, many series and shows are based on true event. People also learn famous historical cases so that they can feel real-life case.
Thirdly, the story line of the crime dramas are unique from regular entertainment shows. The suspense level attracts to audience and they become addicted. Now, there are many online platforms which provide huge amount of crime series such as Netflix, Amazon prime, and so on. So people can easily find it. Moreover, due to TV crime shows children can learn myriad things. They have ability to identify the truth and what is the right and wrong.
Overall, the creativity of the production house are enhance more interest to people watch that show and also they can learn plenty things. The TV crime entertainment dramas are catch their audience by mentally as well as physically.
Whenever you watching that episode: IELTS writing is a formal test. So we have to write everything in a general manner. As far as possible avoiding writing anything directly to somebody.
Like here: whenever you watching that episode and delighted for next episode
Better way to write this sentence: It is always delighted for people to watch the current episode and get excited about next.
Almost every crime fictions are used advanced techniques for solving the case : candidate here does not understand the simple present tense proprely.
The sentence should be liked this :
Almost every crime fictions use advanced techniques for solving the case
The suspense level attracts to audience: ‘to’ is unnecessary here.
Such as Netflix, Amazon prime, and so on: do not write ‘so on’ or ‘etc’.
As I have already told you that IELTS writing is a formal essay. We cannot write ‘so on’ or ‘etc’ here. Instead you have to give three examples.
Here : Such as Netflix, Amazon prime, and hot star.
The creativity of the production house are enhance more interest : The candidate has serious problem in understanding simple present tense.
Correct sentence : The creativity of the production house enhances more interest
The TV crime entertainment dramas are catch their audience: same error
Correct sentences : The TV crime entertainment dramas catch their audience.